


It's a matter of subtle flirtation

by CancerConstellation



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Child Abuse, Consensual Underage Sex, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Pining, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, So much angst, Spin the Bottle, Teens, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, chuck hansen is an ass, hermann's dad is an ass, highschool, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 11:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4389644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CancerConstellation/pseuds/CancerConstellation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann Gottlieb is that straight-laced boy with the good grades, the outdated fashion and that nuclear group of friends that includes him... But is still held at arms distance. <br/>Hermann likes it that way. <br/>It's okay if Tendo and Mako are his closest friends.<br/>It's okay if Chuck Hansen bullies him.<br/>It's okay, as long as his father doesn't get upset.</p>
<p>Though... he's never really seen eyes quite that green, and a smile quite so impish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a matter of subtle flirtation

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys!   
> This is my first contribution to the fandom, though Newt and Herm are my babies forever. I've read so many fanfics of this pairing and tbh they all kill me 'cause I love them??? Well, anyhow, here's my contribution to the fandom? I hope you guys like it!

Hermann would soon learn that, when it came to disgracing himself, Newton Geizsler was number one at it. It wasn't a matter of actively searching for that one thing that made people tick, or maybe it was, Hermann didn't really know, but somehow Newton always ended up doing what he did best, running his mouth, and upsetting the other person. 

It wasn't like Newt did these things on purpose. As a matter of fact, Newt was a rather friendly and lackadaisical sort of person. He was forward in an almost noxious way and he always spoke in a way that belied his intentions of trying to get too many words out with too little breath.

"Sick scars, dude."

Hermann's forehead pinched as he first tried to place the nasally, high-pitched voice, clearly talking to him. "Excuse me?" He asked, disbelievingly. Never, in the five years he'd been in high school thus far, had anyone dared remark on the scars and occasional bruises that tended to peek out from under his clothes.

"Yeah, sick scars," the boy repeated.

Now that Hermann actually bothered to look at the shuffling kid, hair disheveled and thick-frame glasses askew on the boy's nose, one of his thin eyebrows raised judgmentally. He couldn't believe he, of all people, was getting harassed by a hipster. "I'm sorry they're not to your liking," he replied sarcastically, eyes rolling before he dismissed the younger boy, in favor of his book.

"No, no, dude! They're cool. I didn't mean to offend you, though I can see how you could get offended by that, but you shouldn't be offended by that, and what I mean to say is that I'm sorry if you felt offended." The words were accompanied by a flurry of hand gestures that seemed to try to placate him. Hermann could not believe how oblivious the boy was to how he really did not care, nor could he believe the speed with which the boy spoke.

"Are you done yet?" Was all he had to offer in response, eyes reading over the page dully.

"You're kind of rude, you know that? And it's weird because it fits so well with your preppy grandpa style," the boy blathered on, taking the seat opposite him. Hermann let out a groan and gave him a searing look before returning to the book, "I do not dress in a preppy grandpa style."

"Uh, yeah, you do, but we can discuss your terrible fashion choices later," the boy said, further ruffling his hair by passing a lazy hand through it before drumming his fingers on the table top, a sort of restless energy. "When you first looked at me, you didn't seem to recognize me. Do you seriously not know who I am?"

Hermann sighed, his whole body heaving with the movement. He was annoyed to find that he couldn't tune out the mindless droning around him, as he usually did. Marking the page, ignoring the offended 'oh!' from the boy, he closed the book. "Hey! That's a book, man. Those are sacred. You don't just fold the pages. Not cool, dude. I thought you were a real nerd," the boy continued and Hermann just found himself getting more cross by the minute.

"No, fortunately, I do not know who you are, nor do I want to. I don't see how folding pages makes me any less intelligent, either. It's not like I've irreparably damaged the book," he huffed and definitely did not notice the way the boy's face seemed to fall fractionally before he put another beaming smile on his face. Hermann couldn't help but groan loud and long, internally. He wasn't that heartless.

"I'm Newton Geizsler, call me Newt, school Junior rock star and resident Science Club Freshman," he chirped happily, seeming pleased with himself and the titles he'd given himself. Then, he paused, briefly frowning and continuing, "That does sort of sound strange. I guess I'm a Junior, though I could be in university, and I'm new to the science club, which, by the way, you are in." 

Hermann said nothing, opting for the usual treatment he gave pests that tended to not get the hint. This involved: silent treatment, uninterested body posture, and closed-off facial expressions. Unfortunately, this didn't faze this "Newton" at all. "I've recently transferred in from Germany, you know? Everyone's talking about me. Apparently transfers in Junior year are rare, or maybe it's where I'm from." 

He had, in fact, heard about a transfer student, but he hadn't paid it much mind because it wasn't, to him, something all that exciting. Now that he saw him up close, it was even more not-exciting. Was this boy trying to be annoying or was he just incredibly dense? Hermann could not answer his own question. And, so, he found himself promptly sliding his book in his bag, standing up, making sure to slide the chair so that the seat was back under the table, and walking away as he hoisted the strap onto his shoulder. 

Newton, once again, breezily kept up with him by lazily walking next to him. Hermann was torn in between being horrified and terribly angry. "So, now that I've told you mine, tell me yours?" The silence could not have passed for more than a second, "Your name, I mean." Hermann knew what he meant. Maybe if he gave Newton something, he'd be satisfied.

"Hermann Gottlieb," he muttered tersely, and hoped that was the end of it. 

"What was that? Couldn't hear you over your overwhelming grumpy-ness," Newton teased with a smile.

Hermann twitched, getting increasingly irritated. "Hermann Gottlieb," he ground out louder, jaw tensing. 

"Hey, you're German too! Or of German heritage, anyway, considering your British accent. That's kind of cool," Newton said, laughing a bit. They drifted into silence, accompanied only by the patter of their shoes on the polished floors and the distant clang of lockers. Next period, then.

Hermann side-eyed the boy and wondered how this boy he barely knew could be so carefree with an almost-stranger like him. He knew that he wouldn't be, and was not, that way when meeting new acquaintances. As he watched Newton, he saw how the brunette had a sort of ragged carelessness and an aura that projected how untouchable he was. As if nothing in the world could bother him. Hermann noticed, with a small deprecating smile, that he envied that.

"I've, uh, I have to go. Next class. I'll... I'll see you later?" Hermann cursed himself both for seeming so incoherent and for seeming like he actually wanted to see the boy again. He hadn't meant to sound so uncertain. However, it made Newton light up with the brightest smile Hermann had possibly ever had directed his way. 

"You can count on it, Herms!" Newton exclaimed, grinning widely before he scampered off down the hall. No doubt to find his backpack and his next classroom. 

Hermann's frown was back on his face. Just great. He knew that Newton probably actually meant what he said, when he said that Hermann could count on it. Now, he was stuck with a chatty Junior until he graduated. At least it was just a year, even if it did seem long from where he stood, in the second week into the semester. To top it off, he, apparently, had a nickname. A displeasing one, too. Once Tendo caught wind of it, which he, no doubt, would, because he found out about everything, he'd bother him for ages. 

Hermann sighed and resigned himself to a future full of wide-eyed Juniors and many more taunts. But, he supposed, it could be a lot worse. At least the Becket siblings seemed to have a soft spot for him, god knows why. They were everything he was not. The only thing one of them, the eldest, seemed to have in common with him was their shared talent for planning and strategizing. Of course, that only really came in to play in the chess-club. Wherever the older sibling went, the younger one followed. They were better known for the many risky and rule-breaking activities they did on school grounds. People didn’t tend to mess with them, but they did flock to them for both their exuberant attitudes and their handsomeness. If it came down to it, he could probably count on them to defend him.

As Hermann arrived at his physics class, one of his favorite subjects, he took his seat and decided he wouldn’t worry about something that hadn’t happened. Yet. So, he slid his notebook onto the table and waited for the class to begin.

Soon, students began trickling in slowly, taking their seats around him and making the room buzz with murmurs and quiet conversation. Well, as quiet as a group of teenagers can get. It wasn’t very quiet. 

He remained without a partner until the very last minute of grace, when Tendo, predictably, rushed in breathlessly, cheeks flushed and lanky limbs struggling past the desks that got in his way until he plopped down on the stool next to Hermann with a big sigh that made the twiggy boy deflate. “Hey, Hermann. How’s it going today, man?” Tendo had a big grin as a side order of the question. He’d probably just gotten back from a quick make-out session with Allison. Hermann didn’t want to think about it, so he pushed the thought aside.

“Pretty good, I think. There was this sort of annoying Junior that came to bother me at the library, though,” he said, watching as Tendo’s grin widened. 

“You’ve met Newt, then? Yeah, he’s crazy, man. All over the place when he talks, but he’s wicked smart.” Tendo spoke about him with so much positivity that Hermann almost gagged. But he did suppose Tendo would get along with him. Tendo got along with everyone, whether he was actively trying to or not. It was probably the only reason Tendo got along with him. He was both smart and witty. Somehow, despite his huge geeky-ness that was proudly proclaimed, Tendo was the most popular person in school. He just was an all-around guy, Hermann supposed. 

Shaking his head, he let out a mirthless laugh, “All over the place is one way to put it. He seemed kind of scatter-brained to me.” 

The comment made Tendo’s smile fade and get replaced with a steady seriousness, the intensity of his gaze both unusual and unnerving coming from Tendo. “I don’t think you have any right to judge him based on your first impressions. He’s been asking me all about you since the first week of class. He wants to be your friend. It might be good if you had another one of those,” Tendo said, eyebrows slightly furrowed. 

The tension that followed the words, and left Hermann feeling like a right asshole, lasted during the whole class. It made him aware of how Tendo studiously kept conversation to a minimum. It also made him find a usually enjoyable class terrible. It was more or less a blur of note-taking without any retention of information. Perturbed, is how it left Hermann. Knowing how loyal Tendo was to his friends, him included, Hermann knew he’d fucked up, royally. 

As the bell rung, Hermann stayed in place a moment, unaware as he was in his thoughts, until he saw the other students noisily packing their notebooks. He noticed, as he hurriedly stuffed his pencil and notebook in his backpack, that Tendo was already halfway to the door. Slinging the pack onto one shoulder, he struggled to catch up to the other boy.

One hand shot out and he had a grip on Tendo’s upper-arm. “I am sorry for saying those things about Newton. I am just not used to so much… enthusiasm. You know how I am.” Hermann felt silly saying these things. It was the truth, but he still found himself peering up at Tendo hopefully. 

Tendo, while protective of his friends, was also very forgiving and he took apologies at face value. Hermann found himself very grateful for this attribute, as he saw the smile blossom on his friend’s face. “Yeah, I know you have ‘socialization issues’, but it’s ok. I just think you’d really get along with him. He’s smart in the way you’re smart, but he has a more hands-on approach.” After a moment’s pause, accompanied by a thoughtful gaze from Tendo, he continued. “I’m… hosting a party at mine. I’m inviting all of my close friends. Including you. I know you don’t like those kinds of things, but Newt’ll be there. I seriously think you’d get along. Please come, I want you to.” 

Hermann doubted anyone so fidgety could concentrate long enough to be studious, but he kept the thought to himself. Tendo was obviously already taken with “Newt”, so he wouldn’t fan that fire. He also figured that maybe Tendo was right, maybe he had judged him too soon. 

What did bring him up short, and actually made him stop walking in the congested hallway, was the invitation to a party. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d been invited to one of Tendo’s parties. Tendo hosted them all the time and had invited him every time, without fail. Once, Hermann had gone, and that had been quite enough for him to see that he did not, in fact, enjoy them. But this time there was so much sincerity in the way Tendo asked him to come, and he found himself, ridiculously, thinking of it.

“I will consider it. When is it?” He grumbled out with a sigh, walking next to Tendo once more. Tendo, in turn, beamed at him and rocked on the balls of his feet, “At seven, this Friday,” Tendo supplied happily. Hermann didn’t have anything to do at that hour, he supposed, though he could always get a head-start on homework. Allison was always nice to him, and Vanessa as well, though he suspected she had a minor crush on him, so it wouldn’t all be bad. And, if what Tendo said was true, Newton would talk to him. 

He wasn’t sure if he wanted the last, per se, but it was better than being on the receiving end of dismissive glances or, worse, disgusted ones. Resolve slightly strengthened, he shot Tendo a weak smile. Another beam from Tendo and they were walking side by side, maneuvering through the crowd, until they got to the lunchroom. Once there, they took their pick of food that smelled mysterious and looked equally as unrecognizable. 

Hermann could have been one of those kids that got lunch elsewhere, but he wouldn’t dare ask his father for more than his monthly allowance, and he was saving that. So, as it was, he had to submit himself to the kitchen staff’s gastronomical experiments. 

Lunch served, he and Tendo looked over the crowd for their usual group. It was more Tendo’s than his own, but he didn’t complain. At least he had someone to sit with. 

Spotting them, they made their way over and set their trays down before taking their seats. Allison, Vanessa, the Beckets, and Mako, all already at the table. Allison kissed Tendo chastely in greeting, though her eyes belied a much more mischievous intent. Other than that, there were greetings spanning from slight nods of acknowledgement to energetic ‘Hey’s.

Newton, as usual, found himself next to Mako and in front of Vanessa. Mako was never cruel to him or dismissive. As a matter of fact, they got along pretty famously, even if he did find her a bit intimidating. Despite her borderline-grunge appearance, she was as strong as she was intelligent, and that was saying something. He’d never really found out if the rumors about her breaking someone’s thumb were true, but he didn’t really want to. He figured that as long as she remained friendly, he was in the clear. The only thing that had ever really bothered him about her were her unprompted comments on his attire. 

That had him chewing thoughtfully, mulling over the party. He knew it probably wouldn’t be a very big party, otherwise Tendo would have warned him. Tendo had many friends, but he had emphasized close friends. Lost in thought as he was, he didn’t notice he was being asked something until Mako elbowed him hard. 

Choking and letting out a grunt, he glared at her as he cradled his side. “What?!” He exclaimed.

Passively, she smacked her lips, chewing bubblegum for a second before she spoke again. “Tendo told me you’re going to the party. I’m doing your clothes. I don’t care if we’re two, five, or seven-teen people there. You will not be going in whatever it is you usually wear.” Predictable, Hermann thought. He’d even been thinking of attire. Still, the comment made him cast her a surly glance, though he knew this booked no argument. 

Satisfied, she rolled her eyes and shouldered him with a grin before she joined the others’ conversation. For a while, he listened in and was minutely amused by the shy glances that were volleyed between Mako and Raleigh, but when that ceased being entertaining, he chewed on his food noncommittally as he surveyed the room. Much the usual, it seemed. 

And, then, something caught his eye. Newton, alone. It was an odd thing to see, for some reason. The boy wasn’t eating his food so much as playing with it, a dampened expression on his face as his eyes flickered from his food to the rest of the crowd. Hermann had just assumed the boy would make several friends, what with the whole school buzzing about him. Outgoing people like that often did. Apparently he’d been wrong. If there were any feelings of sympathy for the boy, he ignored them and continued eating his questionable food from the safety of his populated table. 

If Tendo wanted him to be friends with the boy, it would have to wait until the party. 

\- - -

Four days later found him quicker than he might have thought. The rest of the week after Monday wasn’t much different, or remarkable. 

Newton had come in the library and sat with him when Hermann had his free period, but he was substantially more subdued than the first time they’d spoken. He’d merely uttered a greeting every time and then sat down with one of the huge biology books the library owned. They’d read in companionable silence, even if the change did confuse Hermann. 

Newton was still that nervous boy he’d first met, proof in the way he tapped his fingers against the book or jiggled his leg up in down, but he kept his mouth shut for the most part. 

The boy still sat alone at lunch, sometimes catching Hermann staring at him, before Hermann flushed at his food in embarrassment. But that was about all that had changed.

Now, Friday, after the last bell had rung, he walked with Mako to the student parking zone. He still was wary every time he hitched a ride on her bike, with good reason. She whipped at borderline ticket-worthy speeds and seemed to disregard traffic laws most of the time. He was sure that someday she would get in an accident, he just always hoped it was never with him in tow. It was a wonder that her father, Pentecost, allowed her to have it in the first place.

The loud rumbling of the chopper beneath him made him nervously clutch at Mako’s middle, helmets snug on his head and hers, and, suddenly, they were off. 

Riding on her bike gave him a strange mix of trepidation and exhilaration because of how she drove. Wind biting at his uncovered hands and everything blurring past so fast. It was like flying, or swimming, something like being free, he guessed. 

Too soon they pulled up to the imposing façade of his house, and the rumbling was gone. It still rung in his head and his body felt the phantom remains of vibrations, making walking a bit of a hassle. Mako laughed at his expense, but it was warm and teasing in a familiar way. Hermann grinned at her and led her into the house. 

His house was, for lack of a better word, big. Too big, if anyone asked him. But, no one did. Most of them gawked and complimented him, and longed. He in turn would laugh uncomfortably and shrug it off, quick to change the conversation’s direction. 

That was the best part about Mako. She had a silent and steady understanding. The first time she’d seen it, she hadn’t done much more than hum in consideration, and he could have kissed her, if he hadn’t been afraid of a punch. Since then, she’d come over for homework or, more often, to get him out of the house. 

Both of them knowing the house well meant they tread through it quickly, and made their way up to Hermann’s room in no time. Hermann knew that his father wouldn’t be home at this time, but it was still a relief to see there was no one actually home. 

In the comfort of his room, he sat on the edge of his bed and just let Mako paw through his closet silently, watching her small faces of disgust with both amusement and insult.

After about twenty minutes of muttering and her frustration, she had selected his only pair of dark jeans, a black pair, and a white button-up that had a more open collar, the buttons starting lower, around three inches below his collar bone. 

When she handed the outfit to him expectantly, he froze. Her eyebrows drew together severely as she noticed his discomfort. “I will, uh, go chan-“ His words didn’t even get the opportunity to finish because she was violently yanking his shirt over his head before he knew what she was doing. 

Seeing the sickly yellow of his fading bruises, her eyes hardened. “How long?” She asked, her voice a whisper in controlled anger. He swallowed, mouth dry and hands trembling. 

Shaking his head, he grabbed the clothes she’d laid out and dashed to the bathroom without another word. The bathroom door clicked shut and he pressed his bare back against the cool wood. 

In and out, like what his many videos about therapy said. In and out, breathe. Until your throat feels open. The clothes went on and he noticed, with dismay, that the shirt was tight on him. 

For a moment, when he finally came out of the bathroom Mako’s look was dark, and then she seemed to notice what he was wearing and her eyes gleamed. “Yeah, we can work with this,” she said with a smirk.

He frowned and looked at himself in the mirror. He saw her reflection approach his own and felt as she rolled his sleeves to his elbows. Her fingers ran through his hair, grown a bit longer than usual due to lack of time for a cut, and she “artfully mussed it”. Apparently it made it look more like “sex hair”, whatever that meant. Upon seeing that he’d buttoned the shirt the full way up, a scandalized look crossed her face and she quickly righted the offending sight by unbuttoning his top button and playing with his collar a bit so it would show “just the right amount of skin”. 

By the time he was done, his only pair of converse, black, on his feet, he didn’t even really recognize himself. “I don’t know what was wrong with what I was wearing before,” he huffed at Mako. 

She frowned at him, looking as if she was deciding in between if he was stupid or naïve, and left the room to change into her own outfit. 

In her absence, he looked at himself and frowned. Hermann didn’t see why he had to do himself up like this. It was still him under it all, and everyone there knew him. It wasn’t like he was meeting new people. 

Mako came out wearing a breezy turquoise crop-top that showed of her belly ring, some form-fitting grey jeans, and a pair of platform sandals. Admittedly, she looked pretty great. “Now, I think we can go,” she said with a smile. “You know…” She seemed uncertain a moment before pushing on, “I won’t push you, but I worry about you, Hermann. You can tell me when he does that kind of shit,” she added, frowning.

Hermann slid his cellphone into his back pocket, facing his desk instead of meeting her penetrating gaze, “Yeah, I know.” With that, he followed her out the door. 

Since Tendo lived in his same neighborhood, Mako made him walk while she took the chopper over. She knew better than to leave it there for Hermann’s father to find, and she didn’t want him messing up his hair by wearing a helmet.

That’s how he found himself at Tendo’s doorstep five minutes after he’d left, and three minutes after Mako had arrived. 

“Hermann!” Tendo exclaimed, looking him up and down appreciatively with a grin and wrapping an arm around him. “You actually came! This is great. You won’t regret it buddy, I promise.” Hermann seriously doubted that, but he smiled at him either way.

He was led into the living-room-converted-party-room. It was big enough to house them all, he noted, as he passed over everyone in the room. Aside from the usual crowd (Beckets, Mako, Allison, Vanessa), the Wei Tang triplets, and Sasha and Aleksis. The triplets were on the floor, dealing out cards to Allison, Vanessa and Yancy, while the two Russians were engaged in their own private conversation. 

When Tendo told Hermann he was going to go get drinks for the both of them, the people in the room raised their heads to acknowledge him. Some of them were double takes, as with Raleigh, who, promptly, grinned. “You clean up well, Gottlieb,” he shouted over. Hermann frowned but the quirking of his lips gave him away and he let himself dissolve into calm chuckles. “Honestly, why does everyone find fault with my cardigans?” He muttered as he sat in the closest sofa to the group on the floor. 

Tendo came back and plopped down next to him, handing him a beer. Hermann grimaced at the beverage, but took a drink. There were mixed feelings inside him, about alcohol. It was then that he noticed that Newton was not there yet.

For about half-an-hour they did nothing but chat amiably and play cards, the radio turned up softly as background music. Occasionally someone would get up and dance to a song they liked. At seven thirty-five the doorbell buzzed and Tendo got up, already slightly wobbly on his legs. Whoever it was on the other side of the door, got a loud greeting and laughter, Hermann heard.

Tendo appeared in the doorway with Newton and Hermann stared, and stared, and stared. Newton wore impossibly tight dark jeans that clung low on his hips, revealed in pale flashes when he walked. His shirt, some anonymous band, wasn’t tight, but it gave the viewer enough detail to get the picture. Then, his wavy hair was its usual mess, curls drawn to one side as they fell easily into his face and slightly over his thickly-framed glasses. His feet were also in converse, but these were soon forgotten as he kicked them off and slotted them under the sofa. 

Hermann’s mouth felt incredibly parched, so he took another few drinks from the bottle he’d still been nursing. Then, of course, was when Newton made direct eye contact with him and beamed, before looking him up and down appreciatively. That was it, because he was back to talking with Tendo, but that one moment made his cheeks heat up as he tried, in vain, to find the card game more interesting than impertinent Juniors that had curly hair and glasses. 

Newton got the same treatment Hermann’d gotten and Tendo retreated to get more beers for everyone. This made Newton scan the room with consideration. Now, Vanessa was talking with Sasha and Aleksis about some TV series or other, and the rest of them were playing cards. From the corner of his eye, Hermann watched Newton move with determination and… sit right next to him. 

“Hey, you came! Tendo told me you don’t really come to his parties. I’m kind of nervous since I don’t really know anyone here aside from you and Tendo,” he confessed, words tripping over themselves as they usually did in that squeaky nasal voice. A drop of irritation bothered him, when he’d heard what Tendo had said. It was true, but it bothered him that Tendo would go and tell Newton about him when they barely knew each other.

“Yeah, I have a lot to do,” he replied, eyes studiously not looking in Newton’s direction. 

“It’s okay if you don’t like parties. Sometimes I like being alone too,” Newton said, compelling Hermann to look at him when he heard the soft tone of voice he used.

“Is that why you’re always alone at lunch?” The words were out before he really thought them through, and he regretted them, jaw tensing for the rebuke that never came.

“Not really. I haven’t been invited to any tables I’d like to be at.” It wasn’t a bitter or self-pitying statement, and Newton didn’t seem bothered by it. So straight forward, Hermann thought. 

Tendo was back, god knows how, with enough beers in his arms for everyone. As he handed the last one to Newton, he announced loudly, “Now, we’re going to play Spin the Bottle, because I want to. So you have to, you know,” he made a vaguely wild gesture with his hands, “kiss and stuff.”

Hermann felt mortification pool in his stomach. For two different reasons, of course. One, Tendo was really already tipsy, and Two, this was why he didn’t go to parties. He wouldn’t exactly say he was a prude, but spending the night sharing saliva wasn’t his ideal way to waste time. 

As if hearing his thoughts, Tendo shot him a warning look. “Hermann Gottlieb you, my friend, are playing,” he said, pointing a finger at him accusingly. He quickly went over and ushered Hermann to the floor, where he was sitting next to Mako and Tendo, intent on keeping an eye on him. Everyone else sat down in a circle and looked either bored, interested, or indifferent. Everyone except Hermann, of course, who looked miserable.

Tendo finished off his beer and set it in the middle of the circle. “I’ll go first, seeing as I’m already here,” he said, spinning the bottle. Hermann watched it and watched the faces of the people it passed. None of them seemed too disgusted by the chances of kissing Tendo, though one could never really be sure with Aleksis. 

The bottle slowed… and came to a stop on Vanessa. She blushed faintly and peeked at Allison timidly as she crawled forward. Tendo advanced toward her with a smirk and pulled her down until their lips met messily. It was… quite frankly… disgusting. 

Hermann’s reaction must have shown on his face because Allison, Raleigh, and Mako were chuckling and looking at him while shaking their heads. “I do not see how that is even acceptable kissing,” he said, looking at Allison. “How do you tolerate it?”

Allison shrugged, looking from him to Tendo as he sat back down on his side of the circle, “I think, to be fair, he doesn’t have much motor control when he’s drunk.” Hermann raised one skeptical eyebrow at the words, but said nothing.

There was a prolonged silence of waiting and Hermann wondered whose turn it was, until he saw that everyone was looking at him expectantly. He flushed and breathed out slowly before he crawled forward and spun the bottle, watching it anxiously.

One…. Two… Three… Four… Five and it was slowing.

Stop.

It had stopped, neck pointed at Sasha. 

The tough-looking Russian looked at him and shrugged before she crawled forward and violently yanked him down for a lip-numbing kiss. It was not messy and certainly not bad. Precise and experienced, rough and no-nonsense. She’d even dared to use her tongue, the strong taste of cigarette invading his taste. 

When it ended, Hermann was left flushed, wide-eyed and breathless, while she smirked down at him and slid back to her boyfriend’s side as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. And maybe, for her, nothing had. “Not bad,” she drawled, accent thick. 

For a second he sat there and then, flushing darker, he scooted back into place as he heard the chuckles rising around him. 

Mako spun and ended up initiating the same-sex kisses by planting a firm one on Allison. Tendo, weirdly enough, squeezed Hermann’s upper arm in excitement and couldn’t stop beaming as it happened.

After her, Aleksis ended up kissing Vanessa, Sasha kissed Newton, Allison kissed one of the Wei Tang triplets, Vanessa kissed another Wei Tang triplet, Newton kissed Mako, Raleigh kissed Hermann, Yancy kissed Mako (much to his brother’s disappointment), Tendo kissed Aleksis, A Wei Tang Triplet kissed Hermann, and, then, it was Hermann’s turn to spin. 

He picked up the bottle, substantially more tipsy as he’d found himself drinking more of the dark liquid, and spun. It slowed and accelerated until it finally skittered to a halt on Newton. 

Despite Tendo’s encouragement to make conversation, the most they’d done was that one conversation when Newton had first arrived and some chuckles and glances at each other when other people kissed. 

Now, as he crawled over, he noticed just how long the other boy’s lashes were, under his glasses, and just how green his eyes were. Eyes turned down demurely and lips reddened from the kissing, he looked almost shy about it. With all the other kisses, he’d been laid-back and relaxed about it. Maybe that’s just how it had seemed from where Hermann had been sitting. Hermann, on the other hand, had been nervous for all the kisses he got, and this one was no different. 

Newton tentatively looked up at him from under his lashes and leaned forward, slotting their lips together. At first it was just a pleasant humid softness against Hermann’s own and then there was movement and tongue, avoided other than with Sasha, and there were fingers in his hair, and his hands were at Newton’s nape, tickling the hairs, and there was warmth and traces of mint behind the sour beer. 

And they pulled away from each other, stared, shuffled back into place, and breathed. 

Hermann had obviously been more affected by the drink than he previously thought. He hadn’t thought the Wei Tang triplet beautiful, and Sasha was beautiful, but she was both unattainable and frightening as well. Newton on the other hand, flushed cheeks and sea-grass eyes, was gorgeous. Truly. And he’d thought so when the other boy had first come in the room too. But that was impossible. Because Newton was male, and Hermann was male, and he was not gay, and this was just a party game. 

The rest of the game passed without much more incident than Hermann kissing Mako, which had been weird, and him catching Newton glancing at him, only to have the other quickly turn away and flush. Yeah, the kiss had been weird, but it was a party game and other people had kissed their own sex. If Newton hadn’t wanted to do it, he only had to say so. 

Hermann doubted it had anything to do with the actual quality of the kiss. From his own perspective, it had been warm and wet and yielding, but it didn’t cross over into sloppy. He didn’t make it a habit to kiss a lot of people, but it had been one of his better kisses, if he did say so himself. 

By the time the second round was over, they decided they were bored of sucking face, and began playing some fierce battles of Mario Kart on Tendo’s Wii, which, by the way, was not an easy task while drunk. 

Hermann fucking hated rainbow road.

And he hated how good Newton was at it. And he hated how nice his smile was and his eyes and his hair. 

Hermann Gottlieb hated Newton Geiszler. 

\- - -

One in the morning found him sneaking into his house as best as he could. He’d gotten halfway up the stairs to his room when a hand yanked him roughly down the stairs. “Where exactly are you coming from at one in the morning smelling of beer? You look like a right fag wearing that,” His father hissed at him, anger drawn taut in the wrinkles in his face. 

Hermann stumbled for footing, fear jolting the palpitations of his heart so that they resounded loudly in his head. Disorientation made his bleary-eyed attempt at stabilization a feat. 

A slap across the face from too many seconds of silence after a voiced question didn’t help Hermanns predicament. He swayed, grabbing hold of the railing with one hand and the other hand on his stinging cheek, reddened. “I… I was out. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” 

Hermann felt more than saw the disgusted look on his father’s face before his face was grabbed roughly, another hand on his arm, vice grip digging fingernails into flesh and bruising. He let out a whimper as tears threatened to spill. “I find you out at this hour again, and I hear anything, I mean anything, about your misconduct and you will get much worse than this,” his father growled, tightening his grasp on both Hermann’s arm and face before he pushed him away. 

Hermann stumbled backwards until he tripped on the stairs and felt the hard edges of them slam into his back painfully. He let out a groan and was breathing harshly, scrambling to his feet, footing slippery and uncooperative, and hastily retreating to his room.

Once there, he closed the door behind him and locked it for good measure.

Only then did he let warm tears spill down his cheeks in liquid salt trails as he slipped out of his shoes and curled under his bedcovers, cocooning himself tight in the quilted material. Where he’d been touched burned and throbbed and he knew he’d have fresh bruises come morning. Another week of long sleeved shirts, then. 

Tears are a good solution to sleepless nights. They make you drowsy, almost as if there’s a toxic smog settling down in your mind and hanging heavy in your throat, making your breaths thick.

Tendo had said he wouldn’t regret it. He did. 

And he still didn’t know why Newton didn’t sit with anyone at lunch.


End file.
